do you ever have those days where life just gets you down? Well today started out great but I guess it was just too good of a day for Satan to be able to stand it. I can still feel those nasty words burning on the tip of my tongue and my head throbbing with regret. You know when people say "think before you speak." and "never speak when you're angry." well..don't roll your eyes next time.
Cause it's true.
After you've said those words, you wonder did those awful thoughts really come from the corners of my heart? You hope and pray those words didn't come out of the overflow of your heart, because if they did...well you need a serious make-over. Well..right here and right now is where God's amazing grace kicks you in the butt. Because the moment you realize that He is standing there loving you right through those ugly words you want to take it all back...and you just sit there with your little ugly words and humiliated heart with tears biting at your eyes. Well that was my evening...but lets not talk about that anymore;)
On a lighter note, my sisters graduation was this weekend. Being homeschooled we don't have a cap and gown but we do have a small(ish) fiesta at our home school assistance program. Her party was on Sunday and boy oh boy...do I love my family. My Mama grew up on a dairy farm with four older siblings and one younger. And I adore all of my aunts and uncles. They are precious. They love each other and fight for each other. Even though the oldest has kind of cut ties (not completely) they all still love each other. When it comes time for a wedding or a graduation party boy do they pull together. Two of my aunts (who happen to be twins) came out on Saturday to help us get ready all day long. Day. Made. I love them.
I also really just wanna say...
my mama means more to me than I'll ever be able to realize.
lately that's become apparent to me like never before.
I honestly don't know how I'll ever get married.
Even though it is a desire of my heart I don't know how I'll be able to leave my family. Of course I wont move ten thousand miles away {please, Lord, don't take that as a challenge} or completely cut them out of my life but honestly...the thought of leaving my mama and daddy and sisters just scares to bug juice out of me.
Is it becoming a leetle too clear what I'm getting at?
yes. I AM freaking out about growing up. I am a home body at heart. At the end of the day I'd much rather be at home with my family than anywhere else in the world. Sometimes life throws those shiny pieces of stuff at me and I go chasing after what I think I want to become but I always end up right back at the place that gives my heart peace.
my own precious Whispering Pines.
have a lovely night my dears.
love,
hannah dorothy
